Finally, my last year of High School...break out the Champagne, get the streamers and noise makers ready, because this boy is coming home...if home meant returning to a place that wasn't the cesspool of hell that my last few years had been, then yes, lets go home...but before that would happen, there were a few matters I had to take care of first...
Because I had fast-tracked the more difficult courses, my OAC year was a piece of cake...in fact, I had 2 spares on most days and 3 on Fridays...my course load was smoking...I think the hardest course I had in OAC was Individual Sports, and that was only because I had to play our resident basketball superstar in Ping Pong most of the time...
Speaking of my table tennis opponent, let me say a few words about him...he was easily the tallest person I had ever met...but his smile was bigger then his size, and that was the one quality of his that I always remembered...he was a good man who deserved all of the accolades he received...he got accepted to a great Basketball school, and that was pretty much the last thing I heard about him...unfortunately, things didn't quite work out for him, he never made the NBA, but I'm sure wherever he is, he's happy...I wish him good fortune in life...
With my academic future on hiatus, I was in a position where I could start to make social relationships and start doing things that I really felt passionate about...I began doing more of my Martial Arts training and really got into sparring...in fact, I was even able to enter some competitions and I did pretty well for the most part...thanks to my body type, I never had any broken bones or serious injuries...I had the occasional black eye or large bruise, but nothing that would be horrible...my parents never found out about this, they always felt that fighting was a bad thing and I'm sure they wouldn't have approved...I used to tell them that my injuries were due to me playing football and they believed me...I went and saw so many movies (even more then I usually did) and did the whole 'hang out in malls' thing that all teenagers do...that ended pretty quickly as I had very little money and no posse to hang out with...I thought that ladies loved guys who worked out, so I decided to start working out in the gym in the hopes of making myself buff for the new year...with my eyes set on winning the hearts of ladies everywhere with my sexy physique, I decided that my first goal would be to win the love of the one lady I really cared about...yup, you guessed it...the question was, where do I begin?...the biggest problem was that she had graduated the year before and was no longer at our school...however, she did come by on occasion and seeing as she still had many friends at school, there was a chance that she would be back more often then not...
When she had returned from her unexpected vacation, she had gained a nice, rich copper tan, one that just made you go "oh mama!"...to be prepared for a surprise visit and for any other spontaneous retreat, I kept my network intact, and I had my sources reaching out and trying to get me as much information as possible...can you guess the kind of treasure trove of goodies they found me?...nothing, zilch, nada...they told me nothing...how can you not know anything about someone you hang out with four days of the week?...like I said earlier, they weren't necessarily the sharpest knives in the block...so I thought that it was time for me and my new found confidence to go out and make my presence known to her...I had so many things I wanted to say to her that I decided to write everything down and that way not leave anything out and also to now spaz out in front of her...I wrote out a two page letter, which I still have today, that basically outlined my thoughts, feelings and honorable intentions...you know the movie "Can't Hardly Wait", well, I was the guy...the things he wrote about and felt about, towards his lady love, were the things that I felt and written about...there have only been two women in my life who have brought out these feelings...and though I was able to share them with one and not with the other, unlike the movie, our hero doesn't get the girl...
My forays in to the world of physical activity produced much fruit, and I was really starting to bulk up and get into shape...I never had a six-pack, but I was at least getting some solid muscle on me and I really did begin to gain confidence in my appearance...as the year drew to an end, I was glad for it to be over...I had been accepted into all of my choices for University, and I had decided on attending York University...at the time, my reasoning was that I didn't want to risk blowing my first year and spending almost three times the amount of money when I could get the same kind of degree at a closer school for a fraction of the cost...maybe I did the right thing, maybe I didn't...another reason was that I was still under the belief that I was going to win the girl and that going away to school might not be the best way to start off my dream relationship... I had edited and rewritten the letter so many times, I had begun to forget parts of it...I would wake up in the night, with a new sentiment or theory of her life and as I would sit down and write it out, I would realize that I had already done that the night before...I was losing it, and the sooner I gave her my letter, let her read it, and allow her the dignity to fall in love with me, the sooner I would regain my sanity...
After much debate, the date was set...Codenamed Operation 'Get the Girl' was to commence on March 1...M-Day, as it was later remembered, was going to be an exercise of military precision and had all the chance of being the turning point in this great war of love...I printed out two copies of the letter (by the way, I still have the letter and on occasion read it just so I can realize how pathetically in love I was) just in case the first one was lost, the other one would be flanking its position, ready to move in and rescue the day...finding the right entry point was key, pick the wrong time or place to introduce this literary masterpiece, and it could be brushed aside like leaves in the wind...I picked this day because it was a Friday, leaving me with much of the day to plan and pick the appropriate moment, and I wanted her to have the weekend to digest the heavy sentiment found in my declaration of adoration...I initially was going to discreetly drop the letter into her mailbox, ring the door bell, wait behind the tree in her front yard, let her find it & read it, look around in case she could spot who wrote it, and then let nature take its course...but, this Hero didn't do that because I had channeled the spirit of Don Juan DeMarco himself, and he told me that there was a better way...I didn't want to do the whole candy lettergram thing that I saw someone else do a year before...what I wanted to do was to ring her doorbell, stand before her in my best suit, look into her eyes and say "Hello, I hope I'm not bothering you, but I was wondering if you spare a few moments of your time and afford me an audience?...I really wanted to congratulate you on your graduation with honors and I also wanted to say good luck to you at University of Toronto: Scarborough...the reason why I've rung you today was because I wanted to just tell you how much you've affected me in my life...I want to say thank you for your kindness and your friendship and also that, although I know you are in a relationship, that I have had a little crush on you and that it would be better that I tell you this, as opposed to never sharing this information...I have a letter here for you, which expresses some of my thoughts and feelings about you, I'm sorry for being a little nervous, but this is kinda nerve-wracking for me....if you decide to read it, great, if not, no worries...I just wanted to give it to you, and give you the choice...thank you for your time, your patience and I would like to wish a good journey in life...thanks!"...pretty decent, I guess....maybe not as smooth as Don Juan, but at least I wasn't a total loser...unfortunately, everything that I just wrote was what I wanted to say...I never did say it...I chickened out at the last minute...I was going to leave the letter on her front door, but at the last minute, I decided not to...I even had a friend find out her email address, and had transferred the letter into email format, and was about to press send, when an unexpected 'computer problem' resulted in it not being sent...
I left High School a better person, a person who had endured the hardships of discrimination, ignorance and social exclusion...I had made a few good friends, experienced a lot of wonderful things and became a better person...but as I walked out of the front doors, never wanting to return again, I felt that my true hero test; my Unicorn, was a failure and that I basically failed at this stage in my life...As I got home, I said to myself "University is going to be different...I'm going to have fun, to have friends and the next time I feel this way about a woman, I will not be afraid to tell her"...
I then took a shower and went to bed, awaiting the next part of my journey...
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